9 Brutally Honest Truths About Cancer, They Don’t Warn You About

What I wish I’d known before I started my fight with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma—told with heart, grit, and just enough humor to keep it real.

Cancer changes everything! From your body to your friendships to the way you see the world. When I started my cancer battle, I thought I was prepared. I wasn’t. In this post, I share the honest, sometimes funny, sometimes painful truths I wish I’d known before treatment. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, supporting a loved one, or just curious about what it’s really like, here’s the reality they don’t put in the pamphlets.

1. It’s painful.
And not just a “my arm is sore” kind of pain. I mean full-body, OMG-make-it-stop pain that blindsides you. I wasn’t expecting it and I struggled to find relief. At one point, the pain was so bad I ended up in the hospital, convinced I was having a heart attack. Spoiler: it wasn’t. Still hurt like hell though. You know it’s bad when the ER doc looks at you with sympathy and says, “Oh Sweetie, we will get you some relief.”

2. You will be so tired.
If you’ve been pregnant or lived with chronic fatigue, you might think you understand. This is worse. Imagine getting tired brushing your teeth and then needing a four-hour nap to recover. It’s almost comical—until you realize you have to live like that for months on end. In my case it was over 2.5 years.

3. Not all treatments cause hair loss.
Hollywood loves the dramatic head-shaving scene, but not all treatments make your hair fall out. Mine didn’t. It did, however, change in texture, color, and thickness. Some procedures require you to cut your hair. I had to before my radiation treatments. And every patient’s experience is different. The only predictable thing about cancer hair is that it’s unpredictable.

4. No two treatments are the same.
Just because something worked for your friend’s cousin’s brother does not mean it’ll work for you. Even if you have the same “type” of cancer, the sub-types, staging, and treatment responses vary wildly. Cancer is not a one-size-fits-all disease, which means the treatments aren’t one-size-fits all either.

5. Eating will be a challenge.
This one is personal and, frankly, bizarre. My cravings during chemo were so intense that if I ate anything other than what I was craving, I got violently sick. Radiation was a whole different beast—my taste buds changed completely. Nearly a year later, they still haven’t gone back to normal. I still struggle with a lot of dairy, it just tastes spoiled. Milk chocolate is just gross now. What is cool is I can eat really spicy foods and not blink an eye! Again, this is another area where its vastly different for each patient so please be understanding if we don’t want you to cook for us.

6. You will lose strength.
Even if you keep moving and exercise in whatever way you can, you will lose muscle. Carrying one bag of groceries felt like climbing Everest. It’s humbling. It’s frustrating. It can last for a LONG time after you have entered remission. But the good news? You can get some of it back. Slowly. Just be patient with yourself.

7. People will surprise you.
The ones you expect to show up might vanish like a puff of smoke. And the ones you never expected—sometimes even total strangers—will show up in ways you didn’t even know you needed. You’ll learn who your true core people are. Grab hold of them with all your heart and cherish the heck out of them.

8. Your mental health will take a hit.
It’s a roller coaster you think you’re ready for, but this ride spins you 780 degrees and holds you upside down while expecting you not to spill your coffee. There will be good days. There will be bad days. You’ll unlock fears you didn’t know existed. For me, that hasn’t gone away. I can still have a full-blown panic attack if I find a new lump—even when I know it’s just a bug bite. The “what if” lives with you forever, especially if your cancer is known to come back. But even if your doctors swear it’s gone for good, those mental scars don’t just disappear.

9. Recovery takes longer than the battle.
Your stamina takes a hit. Your strength takes a hit. Your mental health takes a hit. You are a different person after battling cancer. And recovery isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a zig-zagging trail with surprise detours. Give yourself grace. You didn’t fight this hard to bully yourself through healing.

What I’ve Learned
Cancer is a crash course in unpredictability. The things you think will be the worst might not be, and the things no one warned you about might knock you flat. It’s hard, it’s humbling, and it will change you forever—but you’re stronger than you think, even on the days you can’t feel it.

If you are reading this and are anywhere in the battle of dealing with cancer, I hope these words help ease your mind and remind you that you are not crazy. What you are experiencing is valid, and you are not alone. If someone in your life is going through cancer, please take all of this to heart and use it to be a better friend and support system for your loved one. Cancer is life changing for all involved. And no matter where you stand in this fight—whether you’re wearing the warrior’s armor or holding the shield for someone you love—know that your strength, your heart, and your presence matter more than you’ll ever realize.

If you connected with this post and want more real, unfiltered stories about finding your footing through life’s hardest battles, you’ll find them in my book Put Your Shoes On. It’s part memoir, part motivation, and all heart—written to remind you that even on your worst days, you’re still moving forward.

Remember, the World NEEDS you to keep walking, put your shoes on.